2005-05-22 - 8:18 p.m.
all, we were going to have real fun and see a fantastic movie, not waste time and gas mindlessly driving around town. That got boring after the first week we started seeing each other. We were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and I expected us to do real boyfriend/girlfriend activities. I didn’t care if he was a pothead and a future lifetime member of Alcoholics Anonymous. My mom told me that guys had to be taught to respect young ladies, and that was exactly what I was going to do. Mom didn’t raise no fool.
So that’s the scene—I sat in sweltering heat of the late spring night at the drive in, watching Luke Skywalker discover that he had a intergalactic destiny that would be played out over a trilogy of movies. My boyfriend David couldn’t have cared less. He kept cursing the store clerk as he contemptuously gulped down his root beer, then lit a joint and passed it to me during a critical dialogue between Luke and Obi Wan. I waved it away, the contact circling away and drifting back like a ghostly snake toward him. I asked him to blow the smoke out the window, away from me. He grinned and put his arm around me. Obi Wan was extracting the video of Princess Leia from R2-D2, and I almost swooned. “Did you see that? Whoa…I wonder how they did that! I wish we could do that at school!”
I peeled his arm away from my shoulder and reached across his chest to turn the volume up on the sound box that was perched awkwardly on his window. His THC-addled brain interpreted this as an invitation to make out, clumsily pushing his lips against mine and putting his fingers down the front of my blouse. I slapped his hand, hard. “David! Dammit! I wanna watch the movie!” I missed the next scene. In fact, I missed half of movie, and I never saw the complete film until almost a decade later, when it came out on video. Throughout the night David’s persistent hands were undeterred by my constant slapping and pushing as I tried to keep my full attention on the cinematic spectacle unfolding in front of me. Eventually, I got out of his ’66 Chevy Malibu and sat on the hood of the car. This was done just in time to see the end and the closing credits. Disgusted, I got back in, slammed the door and demanded that he take me home. The long ride home was silent, and I stared out of my window, wondering why I had wasted my time. I need a new boyfriend, I thought. One who likes to watch movies and doesn’t get loaded all the time.
I learned something that night, but it took me many years to put it all together. Just like Luke Skywalker, life had a few unexpected surprises in store for me. I didn’t see the other two installments of the first trilogy in a movie theater at all, although I can’t blame David for that. We broke up, and I found someone else. We married, had three children and proceeded to have a very miserable relationship that ended bitterly in divorce. During that awful period, I would see the billboards advertising The Empire Strikes Back and later on, Return of the Jedi on my way to the grocery store or taking one of the children to the doctor. Wistfully, I yearned for the days when I could simply go to the movies without desperately looking for a reliable sitter. Even if I was able to find someone, I would sit in the theater racked with worry and guilt, then rush home to make sure they didn’t have any cracked ribs or swallowed some noxious substance. It would take me years to recover from the Mother’s Guilt Syndrome. The Star Wars movies faded back into the background of my life as other priorities demanded my attention.
Yes, nothing ever remains the same. Time changes many things, including Darth Vader, as I eventually found out through watching the George Lucas’s trilogy with my children at home. I enjoyed the experience a lot more than when I saw the first installment back in the day. I took a different message from the movies than I would have if I had kept the mindset of a frustrated teenager fighting off her boyfriend’s advances all night long. I moved on with life, and created different experiences for my family and myself. Parenting does that to some people. Not everyone, I know. But some of us discover that all the heartache, worry and pain is worth it when you look into the faces of your offspring and realize they are truly wonderful people. It took Vader many years to discover that deep down under all that machinery and thoughts twisted by Darth Sidious, there was a man who still loved his children. A parent’s love is unshakable, even after years of evil deeds. Come on, how cool is that? Yeah, it’s a little on the sugary sweet side of a cornball, but so what? I think can think of worse endings. Just pick up your local newspaper. I’m sure you’ll find something.
Afterthought—the enthusiastic teenager who was thrilled by episode IV back in 1977 never went away completely. Sitting in the packed Downtown Plaza Theater with my 22 year old son, I found myself cheering very loudly (much to my son’s disgust) when Yoda entered battle with the Emperor. It was fun, people. That’s what it’s all about—having a good time with your kids. And you can still do it, even after you become a middle-aged cynic like me.
Angela (who also thinks Hayden Christensen was a lot sexier this episode!)
